No matter how many times you may have been on a first date, we know there will always be some nerves or jitters and this is only to be expected, no matter how confident you may usually be. Many people say to me that they can comfortably speak in front of a room of colleagues, at a board meeting or even to a room full of delegates. This is because they are experienced and highly competent, being able to speak with assurance, in the knowledge that this is their area of professional expertise. However, on a personal level, when meeting someone new, who maybe a potential love interest, this self confidence often evaporates and a certain amount of anxiety or nervousness can step in.

At The County Register, many of our clients may not have dated for a number of years. They may have been through the trauma and stress of divorce or suffered the loss of their husband or wife. Others may have experienced disappointments, let downs and time wasting due to online dating and apps, this can be demoralising and diminishing in itself.

In order to combat nerves, identify a few open questions you can ask, in order to get to know your date a little better. You will begin to gain in confidence when listening to their answers. Remember, humour brings people together, so maybe find out what really makes them laugh. Or do they have a particular passion in life? Maybe ask about a recent film, event or show they may have attended. Listening and being attentive is key, your date will appreciate your genuine interest and conversation will start to flow.

It can be confidence boosting to visualise how you would like to actually feel on a date, how you might smile or laugh, even think about your posture and body language. Wear clothes you feel at your best in, something you may have been complimented on in the past. Another psychological boost can be colour, don’t be afraid to walk tall in a favourite dress, suit or outfit.

Know your strengths and work with them, reflect on something you know you do particularly well and times you’ve felt at your most confident and try to engage in these thoughts before your date.

Try not to feel let down if a date hasn’t been a success, even though it’s helpful to reflect on how it may have gone, it’s never beneficial to over analyse or make yourself feel totally responsible. After all, it takes two people and equal effort, let alone a little chemistry to help a date along.

Above all else, SMILE, not just upon meeting but throughout the date. This will go along way to make you both feel more comfortable and confident.

Tracey Cater

Tracey Cater

Senior Membership Adviser

Tracey is a farmers daughter from Warwickshire and it’s therefore totally appropriate that she joined the County Register in 2019 to work as a Membership Adviser. Having worked in the industry initially for Attractive Partners in 2007 and then the Dating Options Group, as a Senior Matchmaker and Matchmaking Team Manager at their Head Office in Warwickshire. Here Tracey built up considerable knowledge and expertise in those roles, gaining invaluable knowledge and experience of the dating industry.


You will only be introduced to people who are genuinely free and looking to start a new and honest relationship. We spend a long time interviewing people and carry out full identity checks on all our clients. Absolutely insisting on proper valid identification. If you request a brochure the more information you give us, such as your age and location, enables us to have a clearer picture of whether we can help.

Find out more by calling us on +44 0800 8994 3500 or email [email protected].